College...The Good and the Bad

I just finished reading and article on the Thought Catalog titled "Things I Miss About College", okay I had really only skimmed through it when it gave me the idea to write my own version.
College to me is the gateway to adulthood. In some ways college prepares you for your adult life while still being able to maintain your youth. Anybody that has already experienced college and graduated knows that being in college comes with both the good and the bad. Those who are still in college currently might not really be able to relate just yet because they are still experiencing everything that college has to offer.

I figured I would start with the Bad things about college first and then end with a positive, the Good.

The Bad.....

1. Being away from your parents and family. Some of you are probably thinking how in the world is that a bad thing??!! Being away from your parents at college is bad when you realize how much you depending on them while living at home such as:
- Money $$$$ (every college kid has experienced this)
- Structure ( some kids once they go to college go buck wild, while some can control themselves other can't)
- Reminders (when I say reminders I mean reminders to get a hw assignment done, to check your laundry or for some kids their parents do their laundry for them, waking up on time for something)

2. THE FOOD. I don't think I have met one person that could say the food they were served at college was better than their mom's home-cooking. I went to an HBCU (Historically Black College/ University). You would think since I was around mostly all black people, including the kitchen staff, that the food would be like mom's...WRONG. College food is probably the nastiest food but over the years you grow to like or even crave some of the meals. On the weekends after a night of heavy drinking the breakfast they served was clutch though. Most of the time the food they served was unhealthy or nasty which would then force many students to order out all the time or rely on the dollar menu at McDonalds.

3. Roommates. Now don't get me wrong my roommates weren't bad really but sometimes sharing a space with someone for basically a year can be annoying at times. All of my roommates have done little things to get on my nerves here and there but for the most part we got along. My roommate sophomore year actually ended up becoming one of my really close friends at school. The only time I really had roommate drama was my senior year. Everything was cool between us at first until she brought her new puppy to stay in our room without asking. I'm allergic to dogs and her dog peed and pooped all over my side of the room. Her and and her boyfriend just laughed it off, I however was not the least bit amused. We also got into a huge fight over comments we had both said about one another but we were able to resolve it like adults and were cool after that.

4. Outfit/ Hair judging. Now this may not be the same for every college but again I did go to an all black school. Almost everyday I would see people, myself included, get judged for what they were wearing, how their hair looked and how they talked. Some days I would try to look my best for me and because I did not want to get talked about and other days when it was cold or rainy or if I just did not feel good I did not really put that much effort into my outfit choice. I'm not sure why black people are this way but we tend to really focus on what someone is wearing and judge them based off of that. Don't get me wrong my friends and I would do the same but then it got to a point where I no longer did it because it should not matter what kind of outfit someone has on. I would see girls dress like they are going to the club..for a class that was only 50 minutes long. WHY? they would look silly in their stilettos as they tried not break their neck rushing to their class they were already late for.

The Good.....

1. Memories. Memories from elementary, middle, and highschool are great too but I think college memories are some of the best memories because College is basically one giant sleepover. I remember me and one of my friends in middle school wondered what it would be like if everyone at school could just spend the night and have fun....well little did we know we were fantasizing about a place we now know as COLLEGE lol. There is nothing better than be able to see your friends all the time or even your crush and hang out with no parental supervision and just party.

2.  Friendships. I have come to realize that most of the time people you were close with in high school don't stay your friends after graduation unless you had a really close friendship. I only keep in contact with a few of my friends from high school. I don't know what it is specifically but there is something about making friends in college that is different. Of course after college graduation you may loose contact with some people but usually the friends you make in college end up becoming your life long friends afterwards (or so one would hope). But I have heard this same testimony from many people who have already graduated from college.

3. Parties and random nights. Going to parties and just getting into random adventures with friends, especially when drunk, provide some of the best times and laughs. Because most of the people at school did not know how to behave themselves without getting into a fight during a party my school kind of did away with parties for awhile. After much complaining from the students they finally agreed to let us have a few campus parties every now and then.  That was such a rare treat for us so whenever there was a party in the gym it was always a big deal. The parties I went to were always fun. My friends and I would pregame before the party since our campus was a dry campus, meaning alcohol was a BIG NO, and put on our best outfits and just dance and have fun at the parties. After the party is was always a given that somewhere on campus in someone's room you could expect some type of after party. Random night shenanigans were always fun especially when our guy friends were involved. They would always come into our rooms and we would drink and play card games

4. Campus Events. Attending the football games, basketball games, step shows, talent shows, and block shows and probates were always a lot of fun. Going to those events you could pretty much expect to see almost the entire school. The music and atmosphere was great and just reminded you that you are in college and now is the time to have a blast because once you leave college you can't do half of things you did while at school.

5. Being away from home. I know it sounds like I am contradicting myself but being away from home is both a good and bad experience. I've already said why it can be bad but it can also be good because you get to have freedom and really develop a sense of who you are as a person. It may be scary at times but not having your parents close by to run to every time you have a problem or issue really forces you to grow up cuz lets be real...we aren't going to live at home forever and our parents won't be here forever. We have to be able to know how to handle somethings on our own without dialing our parents number on speed dial.

If only life had a rewind button...

I am a strong believer that every happens for a reason and that the things that happen to us both good and bad are there to help shape us into the person we are meant to be. With that being said though sometimes i can't help but wonder what would life be like if i could go back and rewind or erase something or someone from my past. One day me and my best friend were having this conversation and she said that she wished should could go back to high school and change meeting her then boyfriend at the time. I thought about it for a brief moment and then told her "that would be nice but if you going back in time to change that one little thing would alter your life completely and the boyfriend that you have now may not even be in your life right now by changing that one thing".

That whole situation reminds me of the movie The Butterfly Effect. That movie came back out when i was about 13/14 years old so the message wasn't really all that clear to me at the time. Now that I am older and really thinking about the movie but that movie basically portrayed what I had told my best friend. Something as small as what time we leave out the house or which route we decide to take plays a major part in how are life is today. Of course when you think about it it does seems silly at first, how could deciding to not take a short cut home one day make a big difference in my life but it really does.

Often times I find myself reminiscing about my high school days and my college days ( lol it feels like i have been out of school for years instead of just 4 months) and now that I am out in the real world I really wish I could go back to high school and experience all of the same things or go back and change meeting someone.  I had the most fun during high school when I was in 11th grade. My friends and I had a blast, it was almost like we had nothing to really worry about even if it felt like we did in the moment. Every weekend we would hang out and have fun. We did some things that we had no business doing but it was still fun.  My best friend and I always laugh and talk about our high school days. We laugh about stupid fights we all gotten into or bad outfit choices we made that we "thought" looked good at the time. We still had some innocence left in us,were very naive and unaware of a lot. 

Once i got to college it was still the same as far as having a lot to learn and having innocence left in me. In college I had a blast I got to experience being around all black people which was a big deal for me since i grew up in a mostly white area. I also got to experience my first "real" relationship and my first real heartbreak. I had moments with friends where we would get into arguments, partially i think it was because we all lived in the same suite, ate lunch and dinner together, and we went to all the school events together. I experienced my first one night stand ( which I am not proud of at all lol but we were both drunk so hey...). I also got to experience why guys my age, especially in college, are not really worth dating. There were a lot of times that I got my feelings hurt by a guy that I liked. I always seem to attract the assholes or the ones that are no good. Looking back I do wish that I had joined a sorority like I had planned ( gonna do grad chapter though!!) and I wish that I had made more of an effort to make other friends outside of my core group of friends. We all had friends outside of each other but for the most part my friends and I did everything with one another instead of really branching out.

Being out of college makes me realize how much i didn't really live in each moment. I had a lot of fun in high school and college and have fun memories that will stick with me forever but I wish I had truly enjoyed each moment and lived it to the fullest. The saying "you don't know what you have until it's gone" really hits home for me because I will never be able to go back into time and do all those moments over. I look at young kids and think they are lucky because they haven't yet experienced high school and college they still have so much to go through in life. Although there are some things and people that I wish I could go back and change, relive, or redo but I can't do that and I embrace all of the things and people ,both good and bad, that I have encountered because it has shaped me into the person I am today. I am excited and curious to see what else life has for me and I look forward to the good and bad things that have yet to come because what would life really be without experiences? Everybody has a unique story and I just like to think of all these experiences I've had in the past and will have in the future as another part of my life story.

Life after college should be a class they teach in college

After I graduated from college I immediately felt a huge amount of pressure to find a job and get established in the real world. I dreaded the normal questions people get bombarded with post-college "What's your major?" "What can you do with a major like that!?" "What kind of career do you want to do?" "Have you found a job yet?" "You don't know what you want to be?". I cringed every time I had a conversation with someone and those questions were brought up. I know that they were just genuinely interested what my plans for the future was but when you don't have everything figured out at the moment those simple questions can feel like you are being put on the witness stand during a trial. Part of the reason why I felt some anxiety was because I am the third person in my family to graduate from college. Both my older sister and older cousin had their degrees, had already secured their jobs 2 months after graduating and they both actually knew what they wanted to be, a teacher.  I thought there was no way that I could compete with them. I felt like they had set the bar really high and I didn't want to be that person that "failed".

I allowed myself a week to rest after graduating ( i took 6 classes, commuted an hour to and from school, and worked two part-time jobs hell i deserved it) before I dived into my tedious job search. When they say life after college is rough I feel like there is really nothing that can prepare you for the real world but it definitely would be helpful if colleges and high school start offering a Real World 101 class. I had applied to over 100 jobs and went on countless job interviews. I even fell for some job posting scams ( feeling dumb is not even close to how i felt). Hours turned into days, days turned into weeks and weeks turned into 3 months. I was going through a small period of being depressed. My life has been so consistent since i was in kindergarten. I have literally been in school my entire life and now I was forced to be an adult. Also i missed the little things about college such as being able to see my close friends everyday or going to parties and staying busy everyday. Idle time is really a dangerous thing. I was running out of options to do during the day to keep myself from going insane. 

Finally last week after a three month hiatus of not having a steady Monday-friday job God finally worked things in my favor and blessed me with an amazing job that I am actually happy to come to EVERY single day! No it may not be my absolute dream job but honestly even when i was still in college I had already accepted the fact that my first job post-college probably would not be the job I could see myself doing for the rest of my life. So far after being here for a little while I already have a list of positive reasons why I enjoy this job:

1. Everyone and I mean EVERYONE here is friendly

2. I get paid every week as opposed to every two weeks

3. I really do enjoy what I am doing

4. They give us free lunches and snacks sometimes ( thank God I have enough self control to not indulge in the pizza, cookies, cake and everything else they order frequently lol)

5. Even though my hours are 9-6 my day always flys by quickly

6. Loveee the location

7. Even with traffic it only takes me 30 min to get home

I could go on and on but obviously I have made my point. My job title is basically receptionist/office assistant. Normally when someone hears the word receptionist they just think of someone who just sits at a boring desk all day and answers incoming phone calls. My job is nothing like that, of course I do have to answer the phone and direct phone calls but I am actually busy doing stuff away from my desk most of the time or running around doing miscellaneous tasks. Now of course I did not attend four years of college to become a receptionist/office assistant but this job is providing me skills that I can put on my resume and use later for future job positions. I actually feel like I have a purpose now and when someone asks me if I have a job I can proudly say with a smile on my face "Yes, I do have a job". I've been told that the fact I have a job three/four months after college is amazing and a blessing and it truly is a blessing indeed.