Blessings Pouring Down

When life throws you curve balls instead of freaking out sometimes you just have to go with it. Last week on Friday when I was leaving work as I was backing out I noticed that my car started running a little funny. Deep down I knew that my car was getting ready to cut off on me because I had experienced it already two times this year. But I kept convincing myself that my car would be fine to make the drive home from work. My car allowed me to drive about 5ft before my entire completely shut off. Luckily I was still on campus and not driving on the highway otherwise that would have made for one serious accident. 

The irony in this situation is my parents had been bugging me for weeks to get a new car. I started my new job working at the University of Maryland back in November and the commute from my house is about 45 min. My car was a 97' Mazda and it had been through a lot of the years. Even though my parents grew more weary with each passing day I tried my best to convince them that I was fine and that I did not need a new car just yet. My reason behind that was that I already had a few bills to take care of and I simply did not want to add another expense on my plate if it was not absolutely necessary. Hindsight is 20/20 because I guess it was necessary that I needed a new car even if I did not want to admit it. The decision for me to get a new car had been made for me on Friday after my car broke down, my parents had enough with my old car and they put their foot down and told me I was going car shopping the next day.

Saturday morning both me and my parents spent practically the entire day at the dealership looking for a good deal and most importantly a good car to get me to and from work. God was working it out on my behalf because after a little bit of negotiating and having a cars salesman that had the hots for me I was able to walk away with a brand new 2015 Nissan.

As I have said before God has a funny way of working sometimes. The entire time I was avoiding getting a new car because I was worried and did not know if I could handle the payments and being an "adult". Sure I have a new job that pays a lot more than my old job but I just didn't know if I was truly ready for this but God will never give you more than you can handle. Everyday I wake up I am reminded just how blessed I am and how God is always watching over me. My old car broke down on a Friday which was perfect timing because it was the weekend but had my car broke down earlier in the week I would have been screwed. Also not to mention the location of where my car broke down was in a way perfect as well because if my car had completely stalled on the highway I would have ended up in the hospital or dead. 

I am beyond grateful for my job at the University of Maryland, my new car, God's grace and favor over my life, and having wonderful parents that always guide me in the right direction because without their guidance I would be lost at times.

A weekend filled with love

Over the weekend I had a nice and much needed mini vacation. Friday morning I traveled from DC to Boston to be reunited with my best friend, Jaz, for a baby shower her family was throwing for her. ~A little back story her family was originally from Boston and then they moved to Maryland when Jaz was in elementary school. They moved back to Boston about three years ago and now Jaz lives in Chicago with her fiance Malcolm. ~ The last time I saw Jaz was in January for New Years Eve but I hadn't seen her family since we were in high school. Her family was literally like my second family because we have mirror imaged families. Both of our dads work at night, we both have parents who have been married for over 20 years, her older sister is the same age as my sister (they graduated high school together), me and my best friend are the same age, our younger brothers are the same age, and she and her siblings are older than me and my siblings by only a few months. At first I was worried that I was not going to be able to go because I had a few bills to take care of right around the time I needed to purchase my plane ticket and I honestly wasn't sure if I was going to be able to make it but the day before I purchased my ticket my mom called me excited telling me that a leftover dentist bill from my wisdom teeth surgery ended up being covered by our insurance after all....man if that wasn't God's perfect timing then I don't know what is, long story short I ended up being able to use the money I planned on using to pay that dentist bill for my plane ticket. GOD IS GOOD!

The entire weekend we were in Boston I had such a great time with my Jaz, Malcolm, and her family. The baby shower they threw for her was so amazing and filled with love. This is their first child and already he is so blessed by the amount of things everyone has given them it was so amazing to be apart of it. I helped Jaz's mom with the baby shower games and the night before Jaz and I put together the party favor (we are both big art nerds, we love anything that has to do with art or being creative). I loved finally being able to meet the rest of her family that I have always seen pictures of or heard stories of. I am really excited because in August I will be flying to Chicago once Jaz has Xavier and help out her and Malcolm for a week. The friendship and bond that Jaz and I have is indescribable, I love that girl so much and even though we went from being able to see each other everyday growing up to know only being able to see each other a few times a year I am still so grateful to have her as my best friend, she really is my other half. Our friendship was never broken even after being separated by states. I would have loved to been able to stay out in Boston for an extra day but we all had to fly back home yesterday. Our weekend together was short but it was definitely so sweet.

The Final Let Go.....

Closing chapters, ending relationships, and moving on is never an easy thing to do especially if you really cared about that person.

For two years now I was involved with this one guy who I met through an old friend. We initially started dating but then it became a back and forth situation where one moment he wanted me and then the next he would say that we are just friends.I do partially blame myself because I allowed this to go on when several times I knew that I should have walked away from the situation. For the longest time I could not understand why me and him were not in a relationship but the more I got to know him the more I realized just how much God had been trying to protect me from being in a relationship with him. I kept ignoring my friends and family and God ( dumb right?) when they kept telling me to let him go and move on. It took awhile for me to finally get to that point but I guess I had to do it when I was ready. You know the saying "you can tell someone not to do something but at the end of the day they are going to do what they wanted to do", unfortunately that was me. For whatever reason I was still holding on to him even after the many times he revealed himself to be a jerk. Part of the reason was that I knew I could possibly lose him in my life as a friend as well and I wasn't 100% ready to accept that just yet.

God has a way of revealing things to you in very subtle ways but it is up to us to see them. During these two years I saw every single sign God showed me but I chose to ignore it and do things my way. I feel like God was up there looking down at me yelling and getting angry for blowing off what he had been trying to show me all along. This past Saturday I woke up and went on Instagram like I do every morning but for someone reason I went the guy's page and clicked on a tab that allows you to see if he was tagged in any photos and sure enough boom I saw all of these photos. I recognized this girl because it was the same girl I confronted him about two years ago when him and I were dating and he had lied about her back then so I instantly went to her page. On this girl's Instagram was a ton of photos of him and her together on dates, gifts he had bought for her etc. The beauty of technology , as much as I hate it at times, is that I was able to take screenshot photos of all the pictures she had of the two of them ( I only took about six though). Normally her page is private so in that moment I knew that God was trying to show me that it was time to let him go and move on. Of course I was hurt when I saw all of the photos of him and this girl together especially because this entire time I have known him and dated him exclusively (according to him) he had also been with this girl. I was a little hurt, angry, and even offended because this girl looks like she is in her 30's and from the trailer park but for some reason he chose her over me.

I would have to say the most hurtful part is that I think his mom knew this entire time about the other girl because his mom followed both me and the girl on instagram which means she had seen all the photos I saw. The entire time I have known him his mom would always push the idea of me and him being boyfriend and girlfriend or would refer to me as her daughter-in-law. Looking back i think part of the reason why his mom kept trying to push him and I together was because of the fact that she didn't approve of the fact that he was talking to a white girl. I am beyond hurt but I have cut ties with their whole family and have nothing more to say to either of them.I removed him from my phone and unfollowed him on instagram. I am officially ready to close this chapter that everyone has been waiting for me to close.